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How To Be A Better Villain

Its time I told you guys about my lifelong dream to be an evil villain. I have watched how other people are making as evil villains and its time I took active steps to get to my purpose to be one. Insert evil laughter. I have watched several movies, read a couple of books and comics and I know how I will be a great villain. I have seen where they have fallen short to conquer the world and from their mistakes I will learn from them to be more effective. These are the mistakes evil villains make:
Falling in love
I believe in love, butterflies and unicorns but being an evil guy there is no time for love. We are here to dominate and punish the lesser creatures making us very successful. I don't know why the bad guys start falling in love. Look at Hannibal Lector, a great bad guy, a man after my own heart but he falls in love with Clarice. Why? He had everything covered, he was suave, sophisticated clever and manipulate his opponents. He was good at his job but I still don't understand how and why he fell in love. The other problem I had with him is his diet but I think he was cool as bad guy. I am not falling in love

Evil laugh
I don't know why we as evil people have to burst out in evil maniacal laughter. Sometimes we don't even tell a joke and we start laughing. "We will rule the world hahahahahhaaha." I think the laugh is too clich̩ and I am going to change it. Also laughing like that is exhausting you need to practise and practise to get the right tone and pitch that makes you happy and instils fear on your weaker enemies. I am not going to laugh maybe smile Рevil smile.

Getting rid of weaknesses
If I knew there is only one thing that can destroy me I am going to take it and hide it from the rest of the world. Look at Sauron from Lord of the rings. He came up with one ring to rule them all and he didn't take any precautions after that. After making the ring in the fires of mount doom, I am going to close that place up. The main entrance will be bared, the lava would stop flowing and I will ensure the hero doesn't have any access to it. Keeping me immortal for the rest of my reign.

Telling my plan
I don't know why villains feel that they should devolve their plans to the hero. If I am going to rule this world and I have a sure foot plan I will not be devolving that information to anyone. I won't take my time to explain my elaborate plan for destroying the hero and how I will rule the world. No that secret is going with me and just in case I don't make it work I will have the luxury of knowing no one knows my failure.

Lastly I want serious Henchmen
Have you ever noticed how the henchmen of bad guys have a poor aim? Remember all those chuck Norris movies where he would be shot at by hundreds of guys and they would all miss. I would be like "what the hell dudes? Kill him already!!!!" so when I am recruiting henchmen and minions to work for me there will be a serious interview about working for me and as a minimum they should be able to aim. Even when they fight with the hero I don't know why they go after him one at a time. They should rush the hero and overwhelm him. Ensuring our success.


What will you do to be a successful villain?


As well as leaving your comment here you can tweet me at @mukuba2002 and I will reply