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my conscience

Am sorry it’s been this long. I wanted to holla at you last week but the English language failed me. Or I failed the English language and the 26 letters couldn’t do shit for me. But since am writing now it means I got that bitch on lock and am taking no prisoners. Yes am back with the foulest of languages and nothing can stop me from expressing myself. I felt angry and mad when I started this but now am in my stride. Now am in my place of peace and I want to get two things out of my chest. First of is that am not a nice guy.

All hits time I have been pretending waiting for u to drop your guard and let me in. I am like the rest of the arises that are there. In fact since the cat is out of the bag I am a bad man who has no intentions of helping you. I laugh at the weak cripple and the unfortunate. People’s pain amuses me and anything that dissatisfies others satisfies me. Oh is a bad man the baddest. Call me Mr. Bad then the other thing.

I have a conscience that controls every action I do. When I want to be bad he wouldn’t let me be me. Some say he is a small voice at the back of my head. I used to ignore him a lot when he was there but the bastard moved now he is sitting in the front of my head. Just above my eyes to make sure he sees every thing I see and he hears everything.

On several occasion I have tried to do him in. once I drank more alcohol that my organ could take (head liver and kidneys) when I thought he had gone he came back. He came back angrier and colder he came back with the hangover. Now I sit here in anguish with the conscience who doesn’t want me to be happy. What I don’t really like about him is that he is always right.

Why does he have to be right all the time? Am assuming that we know the same things and am a good in debates and after so many years of experience. The dude is always right.

Why? Fuck that shit. Ok sometimes I know am doing the wrong thing and I don’t need to be reminded but then again he still does. He goes like “I told you so” when I already know. The only thing worse than a know-it-all is a know-it-all who is right all the time. If there is a way I could take the life or make my conscience mute I want to know. And tell me coz the one I have has gotten on my last nerve.

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