Looking to Rent A Room on Craigslist?

I have been looking for a room to rent through craigslist for my arrival in Rochester. So far I haven't had any success using the website. I normally see great apartments with photos and they fit my budget but when I reach out to the landlords I didn't get any response. I came to realize later that landlords get so many responses on their Craigslist's ad. I read somewhere that one landlord got 400 responses for a room. With so many responses I do get to understand why the landlords don't respond to each request. I came to see my response were bland and were not going to get any replies. This is what I used to write

 
Hi my name is Zaby, I saw your ad on craigslist and I am responding to it to see whether I can rent from you. I am going to arrive in Rochester in January and I need a room to rent. Bland like I said. After sending to a couple of guys, many guys and girls, I realized there is something I must be doing wrong. I went to my local expert – google- the know it all, and I found out there are things that I should change to make my replies to stand out. This is what I learnt

 
There are some cliché words that you would like to avoid like "Bring the party home." "Clean but not anal." "Hate passive-aggression" "A glass of wine at the end of a long day." "Listening to music" "Laughing" "Hanging out with friends" and there are more cliché words that I used as well.

 
When you are talking about yourself its better to put a little bit of personality in your response. If you are funny add a joke or two, if you aren't steal a joke or two. You can talk about why you are leaving your last place, get a reference so that the landlord knows you are cool to live with. Mention that you are employed and you can meet the monthly rent obligation, if you aren't talk about how your parents will kick in your part of the rent. When you write your next response put shorter paragraphs and use bullet points. This helps the landlord to go through your response. If possible add a photo, a cool one not one where you are drunk in a club. Lastly if you have any thing that makes unique you can add it to your description. Talk about how well you can cook or how many places you have been too.

 
I got zero replies to my responses before I switched to this strategy and now I get a reply from every three ads I apply too. Do you have any tips that could help?